Silence is Golden

We are a culture of constant noise. A person once said "if you want to know how much people value your opinion, wait until a person directly asks for it. The length of your silence is your answer". Since experimenting with this concept myself, and sitting through many conversations with my mouth closed, I have learned the immense value found in being the listener as opposed to the talker.

For one thing, it takes the pressure off. If you aren't fighting with the person across from you to get a word in on the conversation, you relinquish the responsibility to keep it going. You can rest your mind (and even let it wander to happier places) when you aren't consumed with deciding what you want to chip in next and anxiously awaiting the opening to do so. It's also great for information gathering. You can learn a lot more about a person than they originally intended to tell you as they scramble to fulfill their responsibility and keep the words flowing in the empty space between you. Thus, the more comfortable you become with silence, the more likely you are to also become the bearer of many interesting secrets and stories concerning the people around you. If you've ever walked away from a conversation and wondered "Why did I tell them that?", chances are you were in the company of a well practiced master of the art.

At the same time, listening has an endearing effect with those around you. They begin to see your comments and opinions as more wise and important, mainly because (like fine diamonds) there are a limited number of them and they take some time to dig out. Whether or not you have actually put more time or consideration into them, it will appear that you have. You're silence in the midst of boisterous discussions will be assumed to be one full of contemplation and consideration. All with minimal effort on your part.

Best of all, as time goes on you will come to realize that as your skill at listening improves so does your general knowledge! Many of the people you likely encounter on a daily basis have skills, knowledge, and experience in areas unlike your own, and if you're a skilled listener you can pick up a few things. An elderly gentleman once taught me the proper way to bake a giant yam (making sure it is evenly and thoroughly done). I don't like yams, but if I marry someone who does and we're lucky enough to find giant ones, now I will know how to prepare them. I also learned, from my dear grandmother, how to make someone pass out by applying pressure to a certain spot on their neck. She used the technique primarily for entertainment on dates (which is a complete and separate story worth listening to), but I would imagine the same technique could be applied in a safety situation. Thus, if I am ever bored or endangered to an extreme degree, I know one method for addressing it. And finally, after a long conversation with a missionary in Sub-Saharan Africa, I came to learn that there are actually women in this world that can pee standing up. That's right...Look out men, pretty soon we'll discover a way to make you carry the babies.

Safety, entertainment, baking tips, cultural anomalies...just a few of the rewards that listening has to offer.